Life’s Three Gifts

Life's Tasks

Life’s Tasks

We would all agree that life is complicated; sometimes self-imposed, other times from other people.  Much of life’s complication is our lack of preserving the three most important elements in our lives.  We need to be reminded of them, to clutch and to value them.

Am I talking about spiritual elements just because I’m a priest?  They are indeed spiritual.  They are the beans, the golden egg and the harp.  That’s right, “Jack and the Beanstalk” is a biblical story not found in the Bible.  This aged-old fable becomes the fiber and muscle of our endeavors and of our lives.

It is believing in the power of transformation that takes on a shape and form in our lives.  And then believing and accepting that, allowing ourselves these three wishes.

The Magic Bean:  We can only trade in life what we have to trade; in other words you need to have something before you can give or trade it away.  If you have nothing to trade then you must rob or take from others.  The magic beans are given to Jack to build his life.  From those magic beans comes a beanstalk that is as high as the sky  (“The sky’s the limit!”).

The American bishops today remind me of those people who have nothing to trade because they have no beanstalk of their own.  They rely on the Catholic Church’s “beanstalk” to become their own beanstalk.  It doesn’t work that way.  An institution cannot replace an individual’s personal homework.

It is only authentic if you find and claim it for yourself.  You cannot climb someone else’s beanstalk. (Bishop/Church, husband/wife).  You can only climb your own.

This magic bean creates a stalk for us.  Bear in mind that throughout our lives there will always be those people who want to cut down our stalk, or reshape it into an image similar to their own, or just simply ignore it (as though our stalk doesn’t matter).  But it is our stalk created from our magic beans that created it and it is ours to value and possess for a lifetime.

From this stalk, we are able to grasp the other two wishes.

The Harp:  It represents the creative and energetic powers within us.  If anyone dwindles them, then a slow death or depression occurs.  We simply cannot live without that energy that propels us out of bed in the morning, throughout our day and into our relationships.  It is the harp that is full of its music that harmonizes us to each other.  It is a gift that represents our uniqueness and person hood in this world.

The Golden Egg: It represents the context from which our life is lived; marriage, priesthood, city employee, teacher, whatever place we allow ourselves to be placed.

It’s interesting to note that the harp and egg are both stolen in our biblical fable.  They are not freely distributed, they are not handed to you on a platter or inside a cereal box, (and no government can give you what you don’t already possess), they are not provided in life’s scheme, they are not a given.

By being stolen, we are choosing them for ourselves and then making them our own.  We are claiming that they rightfully belong to us and we transform them to be an integral part of our lives.  (Wasn’t “salvation” stolen for us by the sacrifice of Jesus?)

From these gifts we carve out our position and hold that position in life, with all of our lives.  Interestingly, do you remember how the magic beans are obtained?  From the cow that was sold.  The cow that gives milk (mother!).  We need to sell our mothers (become independent) in order to become persons with magic powers.  We slowly become persons who can transform this cruel and divided world with our magic beans, harps and eggs.

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The “Golden Years”

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The Christian fully lives the day…

Just because you’ve consumed oxygen for ninety years does not make you a sage or mentor.  It can mean that you’ve taken up space and have lived a long life.

Human years are measured in a chronological fashion, one after another; one more birthday cake with one more candle on it. The Christian years are measured in experiences and the abiding virtues of faith, hope and charity.

Evolving into seclusion and indifference and a paranoid cynicism is hardly Christian stuff.  Revolving around Christ through all experiences and growing deeper into his love brings about a truly “golden years” person.  Possessing strong and strident opinions does not make you smart but dialoguing and working together gets the job done.

An eight year old with leukemia can appropriate a perspective and wisdom that can be lost on a World War II veteran.  The maturity of human years may not be present but the Christian years that influence this young person can attain a true sense of peace and hope.

Ask anyone what enduring feeling he/she would aspire to receive in life.  The answer, no matter the words, would amount to peace and hope; an inner peace and a hope that this life was worth it.  The trick is that hope and peace are not received but acknowledged.  These virtues live within us waiting for arousal, sustenance to sustain themselves and the open air to be freely experienced.

Healthcare uses the acronym ADL to summarize what needs to get someone through the day.  “Activities of Daily Living” include the ability to dress yourself, feed yourself and sufficiently function.  Those are the ADL’s of human living.  The ADL’s of Christian living is the ability to forgive as often as possible, both yourself and whoever offends you; to gain a perspective that can lift you from any difficult moment to a level where patience and level thinking takes over.  The human is functional, the Christian is the poet; the human gets you through the day, the Christian fully lives the day; the human lives a long life, the Christian lives a life through others, in and for Christ.

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The Catholic Football Mass

The Catholic's Football

The Catholic’s Football

“This is an important day for Father.  He’s been faltering the past few weeks and the faithful are wondering if he has want it takes.”

“You’re right, Bob, I’ve seen him rise and fall all in one Mass.  He has only 60 minutes to accomplish what needs to be done.  If he can do it in 56 then all the better for this weathered priest now in his 32nd year of entertaining parishioners.”

“That’s a good point.  How many years can a priest expect to be strong and relevant?  He’s defied the averages.  He’s given 302 sermons with an approval rating of only 43%.  That’s not good if you want to make it higher in Church ranks.  Most others have moved on to easier positions but Father seems to not know when to stop.  We’ll have the complete Mass right here for you in just a moment.”

(Toyota, Insurance, Drugs and Dating commercials)

“There’s Father now rounding the corner.  Oh no!  He missed the small child smiling at him in favor of the big donor at last week’s Auction.  Wow.  What a big mistake.  
He’s heading now toward the end of the aisle to begin the Mass procession.  He looks nervous.
Father needs a big sermon today to carry the day.  Last week it was all about himself and what’s he’s involved in.  It took him 10 minutes until he made a possible Gospel point.  He really needs to get that done this week in 2 minutes or less.”

“That’s right on, Bob.  Father knows what the stakes are but it doesn’t seem to shake him.  He just seems oblivious to everything and everyone around him.”

“That’s called ‘focus,’ Ed.  Father’s got focus.”

“I thought that’s called ‘absent,’ Bob but o.k.  The Mass is about to begin.”

“There’s the Opening Hymn and Father starts the long walk toward the altar.  He’s been known to do either a conservative kneel or a liberal bow.  Which will it be today Ed?”

“Well, with his extended stomach and weight problem I think he doesn’t have much of a choice.  I think he’ll do a liberal bow but with a conservative’s heart; if they even have one.  And…Wow! It’s a bow.  This is going to be a great Mass.  More after these important messages.

(Viagra, BMW, Joseph A. Banks and Medical advertisements)

“Welcome back fans.  For those of you just joining us, which is most of the people in the congregation, Father began Mass and did everything he’s supposed to do.  No funny business.  No clever asides that would draw them closer to the Mass and to each other.”

“You’re right Ed.  We want to get the distinctions very clear between Father and those people out there in the stands, I mean the pews.  Father’s done a good job at the beginning here of telling them where they are and where he is.  He’s off to a great start and time will only tell us if he can pull it off.
The First Reading is being recited and Father…oh no!  His head dropped as though he’s asleep.  What happened?  Instant replays shows the same thing again only in slow motion.  Isn’t technology great?
What is Father thinking?  He’s not paying attention to the reading that no one can understand because the lector is racing through the words?”
 
“What is Father thinking?  Stay tuned.”

(Acid Reflex, More Viagra, TV Shows, Unimportant 10:00 Breaking News announcements)

“I don’t know about you Ed but that head dropping has got to be a new low.  
You’re right.  At least look like you’re listening to a reading that you’ve read all week in preparation for this occasion.”

“Okay Bob.  Here’s the Gospel reading.  This is Father’s big chance to make the balance sheet for this troubling parish.”
 
“The Gospel’s done and Father walks toward the people.  There’s silence throughout the church as Father begins to speak.  More after these important messages.”

(Viagra, Laxatives, Useless Medical Information commercials)

“We’re back with Father at the beginning of his sermon during a very important Mass after coming after several weeks of weak sermons.”

“That’s right Bob.  Wow!  He did it again!  He began by repeating the Gospel that we all just heard.
Why does he do that Bob?”

“I think he does that Ed because it kills time and shows that Father’s listened to the Gospel that he just read.  And it also show that he’s smart.”

“Really?  You really think that?”

“No.  Gosh, Ed, it’s been 15 minutes and I’m not sure what Father’s trying to say.  Folks picked up their bulletins after three minutes and several I’ve noticed are now counting the Stations of the Cross to make sure that there’s 14 of them.  All the ushers have thrown down flags.”
 
“It’s unfortunate, Bob because Father had nothing to lose going into today’s Mass and he ended up doing what’s he’s done since the beginning.  How about some more commercials to fill the time until the Mass is over.”
 
“Sounds good to me Ed.”

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Psalm “1960’s”

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“The Promise of Living”

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“‘The Young Rascals’ & God”

GroovinHow can I be sure
In a world that’s constantly changin’?
How can I be sure
Where I stand with you?

Lord God, if I knew where to begin, I guess I’d be praying to You but where to begin? If life is a deck of cards then I’ve been cut and cut again and dealt rotten, losing hands for years now.
The consistency I’ve looked for has eluded me since I was young.
What makes You so sure that You’re the “something” that is missing in my life. You’ve been so torn apart over the centuries, what makes You so sure that my trust in You is worth it? And, if You’re not sure, then how can I be sure?
Why should I trust You?

Self-Confidence

Whenever I am away from you
I wanna die
’cause you know I wanna stay with you
How do I know?
Maybe you’re trying to use me
Flying too high can confuse me
Touch me but don’t take me down

How can you escape God? For how many years and days now I’m sure that I’m doing my own thing. I’m in charge. It’s a no brainier. These illusions of a “God,” I find it amusing especially, listening to people who sound so dependent and wound up in this invisible thing that seems to roam the world and the other-world as well. How quaint.

“I Don’t Care”

Whenever I
Whenever I am away from you
My alibi is tellin’ people I don’t care for you
Maybe I’m just hanging around
With my head up, upside down
It’s a pity
I can’t seem to find someone
Who’s as pretty ‘n’ lovely as you

I’m a hit at parties when the topic of God comes up. I can refute any argument they throw at me. It doesn’t take much thinking, I just listen to their imaginary tales and point by point take it apart. I even get listeners laughing at the ease I can dismiss and show the fools that these believers are.

Certainty Amid Doubt

How can I be sure
I really, really, really, wanna kno-o-ow
How’s the weather?
Weather or not, we’re together
Together we’ll see it much better
I love you, I love you forever
You know where I can be found
How can I be sure
In a world that’s constantly changing?
How can I be sure?
I’ll be sure with you.

What works at parties doesn’t always cut it though when I’m alone. In the quiet of the night my mind can wander and my mind even wonders. “Weather or not,” misspelled but powerful in its meaning. There is no season to discovering who God is for anyone, especially for me. I don’t see God as that constant in this ever changing world but yet I wonder and wander sometimes who He can be and who He is in my life.

Oh, what the heck, go ahead and deal the cards one more time.
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“Advent,” The Movie

indexxIf you think of Advent as a movie full of a colorful cast of characters then you better start making popcorn because this is a movie you’ll not want to miss.

•A unmarried, pregnant young girl trying to convince her fiance that it’s o.k. to marry her
•The fiance who observes and listens but has no lines in the entire movie
•A slightly off prophet who enjoys a diet of insects and rarely shaves or showers
•The prophet’s father who is mute due to doubting God and then is able to speak half way through the movie
•An old prophetess who roams the temples corridors for the whole movie (too bad Anne Bancroft died!)
•An angel who scares everyone and then says, “Do not be afraid!”
•A paranoid government official who plots and schemes for the whole film (too bad Oliver Reed died!)
•Singing shepherds, it’s only one scene but the singing and dancing is worth it (cast of “Glee!”)
• One innkeeper, only one line but it’s an important part for an aspiring actor
•A woman who starts to say the rosary instead of “Hi” when her cousin comes to visit her
•Lots of angels played by local people who would otherwise never, ever be in a movie

Coming to a Church near you. Bring your own popcorn.

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Hankies & Pillowcases

02-pillows-ironThat’s all my mother allowed me to iron. Whether it was because I was 10 years old or that she knew my future, I was limited to those two items. The wine bottle with the serrated top provided the sprinkles of water and the heavy iron did the steaming work. Nothing fancy in those days just what you needed to get the job done. I was not allowed to iron shirts. That seemed to take a little extra knowledge or experience. I remember wondering when the time would come when I could arrive at “shirt” ironing?

Did you know that when you’re ordained a priest that you are now able to teach, preach, budget a budget, hire/fire, be with the sick and dying, compassionately listen to confessions, happily marry two 18 year-olds, commend the deceased to God’s care, play basketball, humor senior citizens, build buildings, develop strategies and initiatives, counsel troubling marriages and encourage promising marriages, deal with loneliness and return to an empty house or to a house full of other people dealing with the same issues as me?

Finding your gift and embracing it can be the greatest gift you can give to the Church. Parishes are now open for me. If I were one of five candidates I wouldn’t have a chance. (I could list the reasons but that’s self-serving.) If I’m the only candidate to assume a pastorate where once five priests dwelled and four of them vied for a house key than I’m hardly a candidate. (I’m just the last guy standing who’s still breathing.)

Although tonight I ironed four shirts pretty well perhaps mother was right. I need to stick with hankies and pillowcases. They’re both flat and easy and iron and I know how to do them quite well.

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Retirement is a Fulltime Job

indexYou “get” a job.
You’re “trained” for a career.
You’re “passionate” about your profession.

Opening for One Retired Person, full-time.

Experience: Are you kidding. We want lots of experiences. Decades of experience that have proven your worth.

Responsibilities: Since you now have all this time on your hands, it is time to share your hands as a volunteer. If you are unable to volunteer for one event, one time then please tear up this application, find a corner in your room and kindly wait for the good Lord to take you. This may take many years since you are in good health but trust me, volunteering for one event will not harm, injure nor kill you.

If you volunteer for more than one event then you will find a new swing in your step, a brightened attitude and planned events to look forward to. (But that is only about you; volunteering also helps those whose hands you have now become.)

You must have a story to tell. It doesn’t matter how old the story is, just always have one handy. Dates do not matter, please. If it was 1940 or 1941 during the fall or spring season of either, we really don’t care – just please make the point of your story.

Recognize your future – we realize that your future is what is before you right now. Grab it, hold it, cherish it and most of all, savor it. Because this moment is the now that you swore you would honor once you retired. Well, it’s finally here so take a second look at that budding flower, spend a little more time with a good friend and please don’t arrive 30 minutes early for an event. (You’re not late, you’re just much too early!)

Please don’t minimize the present culture as decaying with no future ahead of itself. You are really talking about yourself more than the supposedly decaying culture. Culture will continue in time, without you. The hope that you’ve nurtured and fostered over your many years needs to be same hope that you nurture and foster in the generation that will follow you. It’s the least that you can do before you go.

If you see a green banana, please do not think that it belongs to you. As aging people, green bananas may have more time than you have. Take the yellow one, peel it, eat and enjoy it as soon as possible.

If a sign says, “free,” that does not always mean “me” even though it rhymes. “Free” anything looks funny when you’re apartment is cleaned after your passing only to find scores and scores of “free” stuff that you’ve never used because the predicted nuclear attack did not occur.

Pray: Pray for us who remain in this earthly journey. Pray that we don’t make the same mistakes as you did but have learned from yours to improve our always divided and broken world. Please don’t pray for your “poor souls” because your souls are already sanctified by the Cross. After all, isn’t yours “The Greatest Generation!” Instead pray for us, pray for your children’s fulfillment and the fulfillment of your grandchildren. They are your legacy. And if you have neither, then please pray for your neighbors children and their children because their future relies solely on your past.

Waking and Sleeping. When you wake up in the morning simply say, “Thanks be to God.” Before you fall asleep at night simply say, “Not my will but Yours be done.” That way you’ve got yourself covered in both gratitude to God and yielding to God’s will. (Catholics have this thing about dying in their sleep, as though that’s a bad thing!)

Lifting: Very important in the retirement years. Your responsibilities here entails lifting the many burdens from others’ shoulders. You do this by listening, smiling and then powerfully saying, “It’s alright. It’s o.k.” Feel free to lift as heavy a burden as you are able from someone else’s shoulders but please don’t forget your own. It gets heavy enough walking through life with your own weight in addition to the weight of whatever grudge, sin or misfortune you continue to bear.

Benefits: You are the oldest person on the planet, we get that. Please don’t surround yourself with folks at least one year than younger and than razz them about young they are.

The risks of this benefit is that your age becomes the focus of every thought and conversation. We already know your age, you do not need to refer to it in aged stories or old friends. Just enjoy the ripeness of the age you thought you’d never reach.

New friends: You are able to replenish your friends. We know that so many of your friends have gone but there’s a new person over there who may like to meet you.

Salary: It’s not negotiable. It’s life – here and now. Take it or leave it. (As though you have a choice.) Life insurance is not necessary since…

Investment Possibilities: Endless and Wholly. Endless because this life only leads to another life and wholly because this life demands your body, mind and soul.

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“Don’t Make Me Come Over There!”

h93C565AEThat’s what our moms said when it was getting down and dirty (and fun) with fellow siblings or neighborhood friends. It was only a few steps for her but travel time was important to us. It’s as though she said, “If I need to move from here to there, then I’ll do it.” That threatening statement normally stopped childish skirmishes.

It stopped because we weren’t quite sure what the “there” meant once she arrived there; a scolding, a time out or a spanking. (Spanking in our house was a dried painted wooden stirrer easily accessible on the left ledge next to the kitchen sink. I should have retrieved it after they both died.) (By the way, “time out” was not invented in my youth, spanking was the default method. What attorney can I call now?!)

How many times has God said that sentence to us? How many times did He try to communicate with us through his prophets until He needed to send the “big gun,” “my son, they’ll listen to my son,” says our confident Creator.

God’s Son came among us and what did he do while he was “there?” (He moved from where he was to where we are.) He did all three: he scolded us for doing what we always do only without thinking or knowledge; he spanked us continually because we still don’t get his simple message of love and forgiveness; and he gave us a time out, the Eucharist.

We get a time out from time to time to time ourselves out. Because there is no time in this time out, unless you’re Catholic and it’s two verses of the Opening Song and 30 minutes for weekday and 50 minutes on Sunday. But there is no time in the timeless time out that Jesus gave us. There is only us, gathered together and wondering why God took so long to complete His threat, “Don’t make me come over there!”

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