Graceful Moments

GraceAs youngsters we talk to animals, whether stuffed or real.  We sleep with them and feel an unbreakable bond.  Perhaps this union helps us move into the real world.  I shouldn’t say “talk” because words are only between you and your “pet.”  Not taught to us by parents or teachers – it’s automatic.  (What else could happen with emerging brains?)

As adults we feel a fondness for animals – whether our personal pets (“money is no object”) and even a mouse.  We’d jump on our couches if a mouse ran passed us but we “money is no object” ourselves into Disneyland.  Our connection to animals is a union like no other.  Twenty people can die in a movie I’ve watched but I only remember the dog being killed at the beginning.  The mystery of this union baffles me but it also makes complete sense to me.

My same feeling apply to grace – we’re told it’s a gift from God.  It’s the grace that stops a damaging comment until further thought is provided.  It’s your graceful of your smile to someone’s frown or the grace of letting your 80 year old relative tell the same story for the third time and you need to act surprised at the end.  Grace.  I doubt you can define it although many have tried to reduce it to words.  The Catholic Church separates them between what it gives and what is freely given.  That’s too bad when both are freely given.  (And, you cannot divide into two what is always one.  Sorry, Aquinas.)  No one, ordained or not, can bestow the untouchable and wordless gracefulness graces of God.

Grace can be that pause.  Grace can be that self-forgiveness knowing the past is indeed past.  It’s your anxious feeling about whatever in your life that transforms itself into a peaceful patience.  Is it God’s intervention in our world at the right time?  No.  God’s already done His intervening, it’s now time to grace yourself up.  I love the word because of its flexibility – proper noun, noun, verb, adverb, adjective.  Other words may fit the bill but none can be so easily associated with the unknown or the Divine as grace does.

I talk to my cats as though they’re human.  They respond to me as most humans do to me, they just walk away but I still feel a kinship that cannot be reduced to one word or can it?  I think you know the word by now.

Now, with Grace’s permission, I’ll gracefully end and grace you no longer with this graceful blog and wish you all a heap full of grace; which you already possess.

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“Who Do You Say That I Am”

who-am-iJust like St. Luke, I say unto you that, “I too have decided, after investigating everything accurately anew, to write it down in an orderly sequence just for you,” most excellent and faithful St. Sebastian parishioners.

Jesus unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written, “I’ll go it alone, that’s how it must be, I can’t be right for somebody else, If I’m not right for me, I gotta be free, I gotta be free…”

I’m just kidding, that’s not what Jesus said.

Jesus unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written,  “Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew When I bit off more than I could chew, But through it all, when there was doubt I ate it up and spit it out…”

I’m just kidding, that’s not what Jesus said.

Jesus unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written, “I am what I am, And what I am needs no excuses, I deal my own deck, Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces…”

I’m just kidding, that’s not what Jesus said.

Have you ever heard of “Johari’s Window?”  It’s a tool used in seminaries for self identity and learning about others.  I’m sure businesses have used it.  It’s very helpful for yourself and in working with…well, people.

Picture a window with four panes and you have the Johari quadrants.
Window Pane Number One is what I know about myself and what you know about me (and what I think you know about me). Pretty simple stuff, isn’t it?

Window Pane Number Two (I sound like Monty Hall) is what you see or perceive in me that I do not perceive and me to you.  Now, Window Pane Number Two gets trickier and also uncomfortable.

Now, grab onto your pew. How about things I know about myself that you do not know?  That’s Window Pane Number Three.  It’s the secrets we keep.  And that’s okay.  (We should all have secrets…even in marriage…keeps everything fresh and edgy.  (I can imagine couples leaving the parking lot after Mass today and asking, “Honey dear?” “Yes?” “What haven’t you told me!”)

Then there’s Window Pane Number Four, it’s stuff that are unknown by any of us, about ourselves.  I know it’s early in the morning but you get the idea.

These are perceptions in life – realized or unrealized by each of us and all kinds of stuff known and unknown by those we encounter or even have known for many years.

Let’s see.  What should we call Window Pane Number Four.  It needs to have a churchy sound to it.  How about “mystery?”  I love it.

I’m strutting through Mayfair Mall with my tail wagging, head held high and feeling all the glory of this glorious Mall within me.  Younger people pass me by and say to themselves, “What’s with that scraggly beard on that old guy?  Who does he think he is?”  I, of course, can’t hear their unspoken thoughts so I continue with my wagging and swinging. That combines Window Panes One and Two.

Perception.  Which perception is valid – yours or mine?  Johari would claim that both are.  In faith we claim that both contain pieces of the one big spiritual pie.  Both perceptions have insights but neither tell the whole story.

In faith, it’s Window Pane Number Four that draws us here to this sacred place on a cold 20 degree Sunday morning.  Because it is always about what we both don’t know.  Perception can be real or it can easily deceive.  God’s greatest gift to us besides life is Window Pane Number Four.

In our culture we say that “perception becomes reality.”  In faith we believe that our perceptions remain just perceptions, a small piece of a much larger pie.  That’s called trust.  We believe that that unknown God is made real to us through Jesus Christ and then lived through each of us.  We believe not because we want to believe but because we need to believe.

A parent feels strangled by her children’s constant need for attention and feels she’s failed in so many ways when this small thing that eats everything in sight thinks the world of her because the child’s world is her world.  (That’s all four windows combined.)  You retire and a year later you find yourself in pajamas at three in the afternoon and decide that this is not who you are.  (This one is solely Window Pane Number One.)  A widow or widower still feels the sting of that death and friends think to themselves about them, “I admire that person – so strong and resilient.”  (Windows One and Two.)

During the three short years of Jesus’ ministry – he’s perceived as a great prophet when he unrolled that scroll, then that same night he’s called a fool for eating with sinners, he’s called a miracle worker for his many cures, then declared a wayward preacher among hundreds of other wayward preachers during his time, he’s dismissed by hearing, “He’s no different than the rest of us,” and demeaned as a jokester who told fanciful stories with twists and turns about God’s forgiving and merciful love.  Those are home runs for the Son of God in all four window panes.

At Alexian Village I see it everyday.  Her increasing blindness increases her listening.  Weird?  Walking gets more difficult so his patience intervenes.  St. Paul was right.  Hearing decreases and a more attentive hearing kicks in.  St. Paul was right.  Each part of the body needs each and every other part.  To lose one part is to lose a part of the whole.  To lose any one of you from me is somehow to lose a part of me.  To lose me makes for a dull, boring Mass for all of you.

I need you to keep me in check with my other “window panes” and you need me to remind you that those “window panes” exist.

It is so easy to be selfish in this First World country – we all have the means and are even subtly encouraged be selfish and self-centered.  It is difficult working with people.  We all have four “window panes” to prove it.  All four window panes belong to both you and me.

At the risk of being cute, I truly hope that Jesus, who we know him to be, is in the middle of all four window panes.  With Jesus between those four panes…
I can know myself better because of you and I can know you somewhat better and I can think I know what you’re thinking about me and you know what you’re thinking about me and you can know yourself a little better because of me which will help you be a better “you.”

Whew.  Now I’m all confused now with this window stuff.  Let’s try this once more. With Jesus in the middle – we can, together, have fun with Johari’s first three windows but seriously and diligently live the Window’s Fourth Pane, the mystery of that “unknown” that we celebrate here each week in the Eucharist and honor every day in our relationships.

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“2” Degrees of Separation

bmw-travelware-luggageReturning from a relaxing vacation, I stand watching everyone’s baggage revolve around me waiting for mine to appear.  No one talks to each other lest human interaction occur even though we’ve just shared a two-hour flight.  I can tell from the bags who’s been on vacation, business, wedding or funeral.   Two hundred of them and as many stories to match.

I see my distinctive bag and grab it.  The next day I open the bag and discover a purse on top of clothes.  Funny, I don’t remember buying or having a purse.  Instantly, I think that TSA played a joke on me but then thought what’s the point.  “It’s not my bag,” as I stare at unfamiliar stuff all bunched together.  (I would gladly give her packing tips, it’s not that difficult.)

My staring must have been ten seconds with ten thoughts.  “How stupid?”  “How could I?”  “I have a distinctive bag!”  (“Are these clothes my size?”  I jest.)

The purse-less woman’s name is on the handle and I call her in Madison, 90 miles from Milwaukee.  I leave a message and she calls back shortly and now two strangers begin an awkward chat while possessing what each other wishes to possess.  We both sound foolish even though we both did the same thing.

She tells me she bought the bag because it was “distinctive.”  I’m vowing now to not use that word often in the future.  We’re very nice to each other since we possess what is not our possession.  I suggest UPS that day and she agrees to do the same.  Hers’ is 25 lbs. and costs $28.00 which I thought would have been more.  I would have paid more since she has want I’d like back and I’m sure she’s missing her purse.

I treat her bag like it contains sacred treasures since it’s not mine.  She’s welcomed to launder my stuff, nothing hidden in there.  Two lives were present at the baggage-moving circle, both confident of their distinctive-looking bags, grabbing them and returning home.  If this were a movie we’d meet, get married and travel the world with our now matching bags while you all enjoyed your popcorn at this serdiptious meeting.

It didn’t happen and I hope she UPS’s as I did and I’m glad I put my name on my supposedly distinctive bag.  (I’ve got to stop using that word!)

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“Priest, Prophet, King”

Olive oil bottle isolated on white

Olive oil bottle isolated on white

As a priest I have the privilege of baptizing a child.  The water part is my favorite (after a boring litany of Biblical references to water) when I slowly pour the water over the tiny head that will replace both me and her two standing parents.  The grandparents give a soft sigh of relief that the kid won’t now burn in hell or a life sentence in “limbo” (no longer taught by the Catholic Church – bad reviews.)

“Priest, Prophet and King” is said by me as chrism oil is placed on the crown of the child’s head.  (Her crying has stopped.)  Now, the child’s not only been softened from original sin  (questionable theology, at best) but now the youngster’s been anointed three big titles that somehow need to happen between the morning mush, the afternoon nap and evening poop.

Parents ought to repeated those three titles often to their children throughout the eighteen or plus years spent with those “anointed.”  There is nothing symbolic or cute about Baptism.  It is all pure and simple and exhibited before the family and the congregation (who are waiting to go home. “There’s a baptism again during Mass!”)

Three marks that will mark the child’s life, not in an eventual Divine evaluation but in the fulfillment of what began that morning.  The crying or obedient baby has been commissioned.  The last word doesn’t sound important enough so the Church uses the word “anointed.”  Many Biblical figures have been anointed to be empowered.  That’s the right word, empower.  God provides and God empowers; the unfolding is left up to us – the baptized.

“Service, Reflection and Servant” are the translated head’s oiled crown.  A Priest “serves,” a Prophet can only look toward the future with a firm understanding of yesterday and today and a King is a equal servant of those whom he/she influences and encounters.  The three combined sounds like a lot of work and effort but that was God’s intention.  Baptism was never about “me” but about “us” which is why it’s celebrated within community.

We perceive ourselves as but a drop of water in life’s ocean when we’ve been commissioned, no I mean anointed to be three big things.  We uncover and live them throughout our lives.  We cherish those titles oiled upon us and we feel them boldly especially in troubling and doubtful times.

If you’re a conservative Catholic, just say to yourself, “Father told you so, it’s okay.”  If you’re a progressive you already know you’re anointed, “I was there.”  If you’re somewhere in the middle of faith just say to yourself, “When I was empowered and who did that to me?”

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Movie Part

indexYou excitedly run home with the news of a lifetime, “I got a part in a movie!”  You tell family and friends as they envy their small chance to ever, ever appear in a feature film.

So let’s reduce your life to a two-hour movie.  Blockbuster or flop, it doesn’t matter because it is your life on the big screen with popcorn-eating people, peeping Toms and the guy who has two hours to kill before going home.  (Oh well, so much for the audience.)

What role do you play?  I’m confident we’d all choose the hero but alas that falls to only one person.  (Audience can’t handle more than one protagonist.)  Are you that forgettable bartender (or cabby or waitress) who feeds the hero cocktails or self evident life tips until the hero’s crisis occurs?  How about the New York doorman who takes countless abuses from the hero but gives one great come-back line toward the end of the film?  Are you that gnawing in-law who yells at the hero because of your own unfilled life?

My best role is the hero’s best friend.  That’s the person who pushes the movie forward with information and insight that has eluded our movie’s hero.  (How can this mindless person ever be called a “hero?”)  This best friend is often a person who’s overweight, a geek or loner but the information shared inspires the audience who are rooting for the hero.  (“Best Friend” is never married but is full of marriage advice.  Go figure.)

“There’s no such thing as ending, you just leave the story.”

I heard a line in a movie that I love, “There is no such thing as ‘ending,’ you just leave the story.”  That’s life for us in real time.  Religious folks believe in something more that follows the closing credits.  For anyone, it is powerfully a life lived and after you’ve delivered all of your lines you just…”leave the story.”  The story continues without you. Hopefully you’ve contributed a small bit to its plot, its characters, its color and flavor.

“There’s no such thing as a small part…”, says the famous one.  It’s up to us to make our small part worthy of a feature film, hell – worthy of a life lived.

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I Know the “Why,” Just Not the “How”

fog-hwgpWe all ask the question, “Why?” like a six year old, expecting a cogent and clear answer.  That answer never arrives no matter if the question is the origin of children or the meaning of life.  It’s all in the “How’s” of life that the “Why’s” seem to figure themselves out, even if left unanswered.

I dread my funeral.  Not that I’ll be dead and not there but what will be said about me that would make me wince or at least wonder who he’s talking about.  This is what I’d like to be said, however.

“How could a third grader be asked to stand in class and not be able to say his name?  The repeating-repetition causes laughter from equal fellows at 10 years of age.

How does an early high school student hang around a radio studio bothering both announcers and janitor for countless days and then land an announcer job as a high school junior?  How come he can’t say “Strategic Arms Limitations Talks” like any other announcer while reading the news in his small radio market?  What happened to simply, “SALT?”  (Radio folks in that community seemed to miss out on the Vietnam War happenings.)

How come his graduate homily professor draws him aside after class and says, “You should consider a different vocation?” because he was speaking to equal fellows in an artificial preaching environment?

How come he had seven wonderful radio years at that small radio station and two successful religious radio programs in a larger market playing rock ‘n roll on one and fielding telephone calls from the second?

How come his perceived liability becomes his greatest asset?  How come he still is unable to stand in front of you without worrying about his repeating-repetition that seemed to return with greater force?

How come people will impatiently wait for his final word to be finally spilled out before responding?

The “Why” is easy and the “How” you already know.  In Latin, “maiorem Dei gloriam et honorem,” “All for the greater honor and glory of God.”  A friend had license plates made of the acronym, I’d like my tombstone to say it fully…but with a slight pause after “maiorem” and then stuttering “Dei” until I get to the end, which I eventually did.”

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Our Need To Give

index“Tis the season of giving” December tells us as though giving has a beginning and an end.  We even add a little cute word at the beginning giving us a festive feeling.
We need to give.  That’s the beginning and end of it.  We need to give.  We need to use the most powerful tool we possess which, in our case is money.
The “whom” of our benevolence is our choice –  homeless shelters, food pantries, whales, turtles (yes, there’s a turtle fund), refugees and how many organizations who want your money, name, keep your name and may even sell it to another organization.
Our mistake is that we emphasize the receiver instead of the giver as though we’re police, attorney and jury.  The point is that we need to give.  We need to give to prove that we have something of value to share.  If the recipient abuses our gift, it truly doesn’t matter because we shared a piece of our value with someone or something – other than ourselves.  “I want to know where my donation goes,” says the caller to the potential receiver.  Just hang up the phone because potential donor isn’t donating but attempting to justify a donation against just keeping it.  It’s safe but it’s never “giving.”

Giving needs to be free.  Giving begins in our hearts and is dollar by dollar licked away from our hand.  The monetary needs around us and our world abound beyond imagination including that lonely, shabby guy at the stop sign with the cardboard sign that says, “Will work.”  (Is “Will” really his name?” I wonder.)

I’m always amused by the beggar who asks me for “extra change.”  Who has extra change?  There’s nothing extra, it’s all here with me.  He needs a marketing director with a new “come on” line.

We need to give to connect us.  Our connections are fewer and fewer in spite of social media.  We sit alone keeping careful count of our pennies like a Dicken’s creation.

I like to give – any amount.  The police’s telephone call scares me because of a future call I may need to make to the police and they respond, “We see hear that you didn’t…” and the disabled veterans call is just weird to me since I stare at “Support Our Troops” bumper stickers daily at stop signs.  Where’s the government?  But don’t get me wrong, we need to give.

I’ve just fallen into the trap.  I’ve weighed and measured and found wanting others when I should be weighing, measuring and wanting within myself.  It’s not the recipient, it’s my need to give.

If I give a waitress a $3.00 tip then I can give her a $4.00 tip.

It’s not “Tis the ’season,” it’s “Tis me.”

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Music: The Clocks of Our Lives

71kxmnMAoWL._SL1500_Whether I hear it again on the radio or in my head, there are songs that mark my time. The past becomes the present when the melody is replayed as sure as a clock strikes midnight.

Anything by The Ray Conniff Singers resurrects my parents along with “Melody of Love” which I played for them on the family’s organ.

“Oh How Happy,” Shades of Blue, 1966, was the second 45 record I bought and I wore it out on my Sears Silvertone turntable. “Downtown,” Petula Clark, 1964, would be the first 45 to be worn away by manually placing the needle again and again at the beginning. My first 33 1/3 album (why a 1/3, I still don’t know) would be “The Beach Boys” around 1964.

“Lay Lady Lay,” Bob Dylan was the first record I played on the radio, 1969. The previous announcer just pulled it out and left the studio but it marked over 35 years in radio. Mercy’s “Love Can Make You Happy” was played often during those high school years for a friend and his girlfriend.  (He didn’t marry her but it was “Their” song.) The Carpenter’s “Close to You” was first played by me in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, 1970. I loved the song so much, I returned the needle to the beginning and played it again. Months later a friend said he and his girlfriend were at the outdoor theater and waiting for the movie to begin wondered why the radio announcer would play a song twice! James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” was also Manitowoc’s first hearing because of me, 1970.

Scott McKenzie’s “If You’re Going To San Francisco” was played when I asked if I could meet the radio announcer, 1966. The announcer I would replace years later was greeted one night by us seminarians requesting The Animal’s “We Gotta Get Outta This Place, 1969 and he complied. (We skipped campus and hitchhiked to get a decent burger and stopped at the radio station.)

Gershwin’s “They Can’t Take That Away From You” rang through my head as I lay prostrate in my ordination service, 1980. The Box Tops, “The Letter” is the remembered song while at St. Norbert’s College in DePere, Wisconsin. The four of us high schoolers decided to shoplift the “top 10” 45 records of the week. (Developing brains, what can I say! We could have chosen the “top 30”?) We got all ten, I regret it but that song was among them, 1967.

I hear Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart,”1967 and remember a kind, petite woman who passed away but apparently had a dark side. Lou Rawls, “You’ll Never Find,” 1976 is another woman friend and we’d sing the life of it drowning out Lou. A San Fransisco summer internship turns out to be a big misunderstanding and I’m stuck there but with “Afternoon Delight,” Starlight Vocal Band, 1976 forever in my head.

My pretend radio show ran faithfully for two years on Saturday mornings and Henry Mancini’s “Bachelor In Paradise” was my theme song played at the beginning and the end of the show, 1965-66.

Two Milwaukee radio shows (talk show & rock show) run for over ten years and I think of stopping them both. Leaving for work, The Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rosie’s, “It’s Too Late To Turn Back Now” comes on the radio and I knew I was making the right decision, 1992.

If you’d read this far then I’m impressed because the songs are my markings and there are even more. And I hope to add more. I don’t know who Taylor Swift, Beyonce or Bruno Mars are but that’s for the new folks to clock their memories.  I already have mine.

Books available on Amazon by Fr. Joe Jagodensky, SDS include,
“Soulful Musings,”
“Living Faith’s Mysteries”
and “Spiritual Wonderings and Wanderings.”

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Orwell’s Message

George_Orwell_press_photoGeorge was right in his futuristic thinking that presently we love to loathe in.

I’m not sure about other states but in Wisconsin dump speech is used effortlessly and instantly agreed upon but the listeners.  “Beautiful day today?” says one and the other responds, “It’s supposed to rain next month.”  So much for the presently beautiful, sunny day.

“Packers are doing well this year,” is followed by “Yeah, but just wait.”  “I got a raise today” is replied with, “Well, there goes your taxes.”  In our exchanges our friends become our enemies with their dreaded retorts.  I have always considered this a safeguard for us in Wisconsin because when something bad does happen we happily (note the word!) say to ourselves, “I knew I was right.”  If “misery loves company,” just move to the Badger state.

“The Atlantic” magazine had a revealing story of Volkswagen’s tragic foibles.  Those who worked there slowly adopt and become a part of a “culture.”  Sociologist Diane Vaughan calls it “the normalization of deviance.”  By adopt I don’t mean anyone actually says “yes” but an assimilation gradually takes hold until the Packers are bound to doom (which any team does from time to time.)  In Volkswagen’s case it was the careless assessment of body parts that moves us from our homes to the the grocery store.  In our personal lives, it’s that simple water glass with half of it, well…you figure it out.

My only admonition to you and me is to beware of a “cultural” acceptance of anything.  I don’t do it with the Catholic Church and never would accept it in our U.S. society.

Mob mentality was George’s message to us.  Thinking alike and like-minded gets us through the day and comfortably to bed at night because we believe what others have said and “adopt” it for ourselves.

Yes, help me to think and reflect and discern and then to double check my discernment with others.  Please don’t do my thinking for me.  Yes, it may rain next month but it’s a sunny day today and I’m out to enjoy it whether you’re with me or not.

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Squirrel’s Nest

indexFOR SALE

Spacious, two bedroom “den” located between tree branches high atop a quiet neighborhood because it’s high atop the neighborhood.
Features include: bathroom (where ever you choose), dining room (as long as your cheeks are full), fireplace (just kidding, my wife and I thought about it and decided it was not a good idea), master bedroom (there’s a caste system among us as well), children’s bedroom in the back with a colorful, tasteful “nut” wallpaper.  If not interested in ownership, we also offer a time share if your squirrel’s nest becomes invested or suddenly drops twenty feet.  Or, choose us for our two-week summer and kept your Florida residency, for tax purposes.
Easy payment plans available through our Cayman accountant.  Fantastic aerial view of people coming and going and especially of their rooftops.  Gated entrance (who else can run up a tree trunk in seconds flat!?).  Must see.  Just ask the priest who marvels at our one-day creation.
Financing available, only serious calls will be returned.  Craigslist is for sissies, call me direct.

Mr. Never-A-Moment-Lost Squirrel, LLC.

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