“Bless me Father for I’ve kinda sinned. My last confession was quite a while ago. Every so often, I miss Mass. Once in a while I curse at traffic. Now and then I tell a lie but nothing serious. Every now and then I get mad at my wife which I sometimes regret. Almost always I miss my morning and evening prayers.
Otherwise, I think I’m doing okay. Was I clear enough? Amen.”

My response: “For your penance, please learn to count. Amen.”