Soulful Muse

A terrible blow to families and psychology happened in the 1980’s when the word “dysfunctional” became vogue when applied to families. Lots of books sold and lots of talks, especially in our family on how we became this word. Every other family presumably was normal except the five of us kids with our two parents. I regret to this day when I smugly told my mother about all this dysfunctional language. She looked bewildered.

Television again doesn’t imitate art, but rather influences and often distorts us. We fall for it. As adults, the five of us kids realized that there was nothing dysfunctional about our family. Our lives, assembled by mom and dad, formed what our family turned out to be. Nothing wrong or good about it, it was our family with all its quirks and qualms, some unique and others not, that any family can admit. In my family, my parents were not Ward and June Cleaver. Our mom didn’t own a pair of pearls, and if she did, she wouldn’t have vacuumed wearing them.

We honor the “Holy Family” each year and even kneel before them in their holiness. Those historical characters that comprise the great backdrop in our salvation history story created a family circle for our savior. Quirky and qualms?  Just listen on…

Test Your “Holy Family” Assortment of Family & Friends

A crazy cousin who dresses weird and eats even weirder
A pregnant, unwed young girl who looks great in blue
A silent-type husband-to-be who wants to get rid of the pregnant young girl and move on
An old married lady who discovers she’s with child and, if that’s not enough, the kid keeps “leaping” in her womb; presumably with “joy”
Angels who are flying around making grand announcements that no one understands but always prefaces them with “Do not be afraid,” as though that helps
A mute uncle who has lots to say but is unable to say them
A government official who wants you dead before you’ve even bor
An old lady who prays all day and hopes she doesn’t die before seeing you
Shepherds are heard yelling at midnight in the fields something that sounds like “G-l-o-r-i-a,” before it became a 1960’s hit 45-record

Just in case you think you’re family is beyond the norm of normal, here is the divine intervention playbill.  They are John, Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, Multitudes of angels, Zechariah, Herod, Anna, among the shepherds is Sam Shepherd, Cybil Shepherd, and Alan Shepherd.

Now picture all these people around a Christmas dinner table, carrying on and trying to share opinions, thoughts or words (except in the case of the mute uncle.) Driving back to Milwaukee from our Kenosha family Christmas, my sister and I rehashed the evening’s conversations. The nine of us ended the evening with a heated discussion about the distinctions between atheism and agnostics, and which one is with whom; since I’m the only practicing Catholic. In the car, are two superior people analyzing relatives with whom we shared a wonderful meal and will repeat it again at the next family gathering.

Our grandmother always told us Manitowoc kids, “Why aren’t you Jagodensky kids more like the Schroeder’s,” our cousins who lived in Green Bay, formerly Preble. She rarely saw our cousins, so naturally, they must be more normal than the dysfunctional us.

The family is a part of the wonder of the Christmas season. We feel sorry for those alone. The awe of this season is what each Biblical character contributes to the story of our salvation history – what each character in your family provides to make it a family. To leave out any of these characters, whether in the Bible or your family, is to miss important elements of the dramatic story of God breaking into history. And, it is all accomplished through these un-dysfunctional but normal people; and it all leads to welcoming the newest member of the family, Jesus Christ.

books by Fr. Joe Jagodensky, SDS, available in paperback or Kindle at Amazon:
“Soulful Muse”
“Living Faith’s Mysteries”
“Letters From My Cats”
“Bowling Through Life’s Stages”
“Spiritual Wonderings and Wanderings”

God sent His Son, His only Son to bring the world redemption through love, mercy, and hope. We acknowledge and honor that great event once again. God did a pretty good job, don’t you think? Jesus did a pretty good job of it, don’t you think? Jesus had but one chance. With Jesus living within us through our baptism, can we do anything less with our one chance?

The evening dinner table is a beautiful display, all at once, of all the food groups facing you, filling nostrils with glorious scents and mouths beginning to water for that first taste. The table is set, and everyone is seated except the oldest who seems to appreciate the bathroom more than the rest of us. I think to myself, it’s okay, it’s a party. We’re in no hurry for it to end. Savor the moment.

When sitting down, I wonder to myself, “When was the last time I had a linen napkin in someone’s home?” If I had this party, I’d have to buy a bunch of them for a group this size. The dishes look as elegant as the napkins, but I’m too shy to turn the plate over to see who’s responsible for creating this fine china. I resign myself to “go with the flow,” as they say and just enjoy the evening as it unfolds. I see lots of spoons in bowls and on platters…but I also surprisingly notice that I have only one fork.

“Ummm. I guess I better take care of this one fork,” I think to myself.

“Family style” is what they call this as you pass dishes to each other amid loud conversations and feeling as though you’re reenacting a scene from “The Waltons.” I see one person holding the bowl making it easier for the older woman who just can’t seem to get that bean she wants onto her plate. Another courteously refrains from the portion he truly desired so that the last person can enjoy some as well.
A perfect meal with delicious tastes at each round. Afterward, the dishes are carefully picked up, and the hostess alerts us to “keep your fork.”

I’m dumbfounded. I think to myself, “That explains the expensive dishes and napkins.” “She couldn’t afford enough forks for us. Poor thing. Surely there must be another set of forks lying around that she could extend to us.” I stare at my one fork, and I’m glad that it’s not as dirty as it could have been. I’m also wondering if I should take the fork home as a souvenir of my “one-forked” evening. I assume she’d miss it since we needed to keep the one already in our possession. She probably counted them all before we arrived.

I play with my one-fork during the lull while I see others moving theirs around as they talk and laugh. We’re all waiting for our one fork’s final use. Something was mentioned about dessert, but the youngest among us dismiss the notion.

There are many courses of food during life. Some include academic lessons that we work through to get to life’s next course but the best and most valuable lessons of life are life-lived. All of it provides food – food for the body, mind, and spirit. But, and please trust me on this, we only get one, single life – one fork.

The most important part of meal is the digestion – a time for simmering and letting rest what has been taken in. We digest a lot about our relationships – good or bad- and about ourselves – good or indifferent – all done daily during this beautiful banquet we call life. Technology today bombards us with a wide array of food groups for us to choose from. Without digestion, especially of the spiritual kind, it just sits in your tummy, and you repeat to others your stomach’s message only without first digesting information and opinions through the heart and mind of Jesus Christ and our beautiful Christian faith.

Through all of life’s entire largess and bountifulness, we keep our fork. We often think there’s another fork waiting for us if we only do “this or that” or if we only think “that or this.” (After all, there are how many forks in the road? I couldn’t resist.) However, there is only the one fork that we think we possess but is totally on loan from our Creator, God whose Son earned it for each of us. So, please hold and cherish it dearly. And, hold your fork for what?

We need it for dessert.

Books by Fr. Joe Jagodensky, SDS. All available on Amazon.com
“Soulful Muse,”
inspirational reflections on the Catholic Church and U.S. culture
“Living Faith’s Mysteries,”
inspirational reflections on the Christian seasons
of Advent/Christmas & Lent/Easter – a great seasonal gift
“Spiritual Wonderings and Wanderings,”
inspirational reflections on the Catholic Church and U.S. culture
“Letters From My Cats,”
a collection of letters written by my cats over twenty years
“Bowling Through Life’s Stages with a Christian perspective,”
Bowling as a metaphor for religion and growing up

“Behold.” The word says what it all. Underused, but colorfully trustworthy. The curtain’s been lifted. There are no strings attached. There is no agenda. The package has arrived. The fat lady just sang. The boat’s docked. The alarm went off. It’s one word that startles you from whatever you were thinking or doing. “Behold.”

It’s a new word in the Catholic Mass that replaces (ready for this!) “This.” Doesn’t that sound like a good change from this unchanging Church? Which word captures and holds your breath, even for a moment – “Behold” or “This”?

“‘This'” is your dinner bill.” Now that usage makes sense. A waiter doesn’t deliver the bill to you saying, “Behold!” unless you’re paying for a party of ten.

“Behold, the Lamb of God…” says the priest now at Mass who once only said, “This is the Lamb of God.” An angel appears in your living room and first says, “Behold!” If I was one of those biblical characters, I’d say, “You can cut the ‘behold’ part – just seeing you got my attention. Typing this I use an exclamation point after that word. That’s redundant.

When the Body of Christ is raised before receiving it, what other word could possibly describe and what other word rightly describes what is shown before you except…you got it, “Behold.”

“Behold…”

• the wafer that you’ve eaten countless times is new this day because it is a new day
• a degree of alertness is called for because something extraordinary is happening right before your very eyes
• in Western movies, they say “beholding” because now there’s a bond between the giver and the receiver

“Behold.” If only we could use that word in the presence of another person like meeting a good friend at the airport and saying, “Behold, it’s wonderful to see you again.” Someone is near death, and you say, “Behold, a new life lies before you.” A youngster earns a gold star on her oddly-shaped elephant drawing, and you say, “Behold, this earns the refrigerator door!” Pilate even unknowingly uses the word to present the savior of the world.

Let’s begin each day, or at least after a couple cups of coffee, with “Behold.” “Behold” what lies before us in both challenges and successes, those who faithfully walk alongside us and what beliefs and principles we allow to live and deepen within us. Because the word “behold” can only begin and end with God.

Books by Fr. Joe Jagodensky, SDS. All available on Amazon.com
“Soulful Muse,”
inspirational reflections on the Catholic Church and U.S. culture
“Living Faith’s Mysteries,”
inspirational reflections on the Christian seasons
of Advent/Christmas & Lent/Easter – a great seasonal gift
“Spiritual Wonderings and Wanderings,”
inspirational reflections on the Catholic Church and U.S. culture
“Letters From My Cats,”
a collection of letters written by my cats over twenty years
“Bowling Through Life’s Stages with a Christian perspective,”
Bowling as a metaphor for religion and growing up