She dances and laughs at the pool’s resort on my fourth birthday. I didn’t ask for this get-away, I was happy at her home but here I am with small balloons on my elbows so I don’t drown and possibly wreak their college scholarship fund begun before I began.   I cry at my first few steps into the pool.

My first interview will rip me apart; they’ll never give me this job, MBA or not, I don’t have what it takes.

She laughs at my small tears as I’m up to my knees now.  She’s confident that my next step into the water will make me happy.  She was right, the water was not as cold as I thought. It’s actually kinda nice…as though I can use adverbs at four years old.

You need to take risks to get ahead, how do you think the rest of them did it?  You’re not doing anything different, it’s business as usual.  It’s all going well, we’re not doing anything wrong.

The water’s getting all over me now, I can’t do this much longer while she prompts me on with more of her smiles and dances. Pictures are taken and Facebook’s been covered for my relatives back home. She then pulls me out out of the water just in time before I really start balling.

“The government will help us out if we fail,” we are told by pay grades far higher than ours. “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

She’s drying me now, completely naked, while telling me what a great job I did by wading in up to my waist.

“You’ll need an attorney at your own expense,” the higher pay guys tell all of us, but don’t worry the government can’t have us fail.

I’m dry now and this water stuff on my 4th birthday (or is my 35th birthday?) is finished and the Facebook stuff is over. Her smiling and dancing continues.  I guess the worst is over…

my mom is always nearby.