50%

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

50 percentWhat if you only performed 50% in your occupation or even in your life?  Where would your job be if the workday yields 50%?

Heart surgeon unemployed
Baseball player millions and millions
of dollars and endorsements
Hair Stylist half the head looks good
Politician one percent away from a lifetime occupation
Bicyclist dead
Chiropractor your patient simply changes her name to “Eileen”
60’s Rock N’ Roll Band at a City Picnic “Boy, they still sound good!”
Weatherperson  continual full time work, 401K, with benefits
Architect you figure it out when your 17th floor desk slides southward
Priest’s Farewell Party  half cries over dessert while the other half cheers you off to your car

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Labels

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

My eighth grade nun told us that, “there is a place for everything and everything in its place.”  We can do that with people as well.  We love and need to categorize and label people so that we can place them somewhere in our compartmentalized brain.  That way, we can relate and deal with them in a necessary fashion.  Convenient, yes.  True, hardly.

This past week I met people who each told me that they were OCD, PSTD, an alcoholic and a lesbian.  (I live a rich life!) Thank God for acronyms, or I would not be able to keep these people straight.  Not only have their lives been reduced to a condition, disease or a social unknown but we’ve created letters to describe them to help us keep it simple.  (Simple is what counts, doesn’t it?  It also helps for insurance billing purposes.)

To shrink someone to a disease has got to be the worst condition human condition, both for us and for the bearer of it.  The one person freely told me at lunch that he was OCD as though it was a reward rather than a mental condition.  I have always suspected that labels dismiss responsibilities for both the hearer and the bearer.  Upon hearing a label, our minds immediately to our past experiences, newspaper articles or stories that we have heard.  Once that label hits our ears it is never removed from our brains.

Try telling one of these people that they are “persons” and you will be lifted up back to your planet.  At parties, I often hear priests brag about their Enneagram numbers as though it’s the blood in their veins or Meyer/Briggs letters that has been so abused it has no meaning any longer.  A priest friend married and left the priesthood long ago and his in-laws still call him “Father.”  Go figure.

Why do we have such a difficult relating to people without diminishing their worth or reducing their  person hood.  The early Church Fathers struggled until their reached three persons in One God, each with its own identity and each connected to the other.

Divorced or left-handed, can we do any less?

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“The Song Has Ended But The Melody…”

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

theater-masks(a funeral reflection)
An Irving Berlin song sings, “the song has ended but the melody lingers on….”  Is there a better phrase for this musical funeral?  I don’t think so.  But I’m wrong because there is another, more appropriate, Irving Berlin song for this celebration and thankfulness of life that is Mike’s.

“The costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props…the audience that lifts you when you’re down… The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flop… the opening when your heart beats like a drum, the closing when the customers won’t come…  There’s no business like show business, Like no business I know, Everything about it is appealing, Everything the traffic will allow, No where could you have that happy feeling…When you aren’t stealing that extra bow…”  Let’s go on with the show, Let’s go on with the show!  The show!  The show!

We think of the stage as, well, staged.  “It’s not real, but it’s fun to watch,” we say to ourselves.  There is no Camelot, the Wicked Witch is dead and the “Impossible Dream” is never achieved.  So there you have it.  But that wasn’t Mike’s life and I sure hope that it is not yours either.

The stage’s icon is two masks  – one smiles and the other frowns.  We may wake up in the morning with both of those expressions on our faces but we quickly put on the smiling face.  Yet, is that authentic?  Is that really who you are throughout the day?

Driving to work you get cut off by a reckless driver that unnerves you but you chalk it up to Milwaukee drivers.  Your boss returns your project because there were “numerous errors.”  A coworker tells you that your blue outfit doesn’t match your shoes.  And, it’s not even lunchtime yet.  Through it all, a mask of smiles spreads across your face.

We didn’t even get to the evening at home yet!  You return home after your smiley day and apologize to your wife because you’ve forgotten the one errand you promised you’d make for her.  Your kid asks your help with her homework but it’s math, not your best subject.  And so ends another day with another one beginning in eight hours.

Theatre people tend to think that the show is all about them.  It’s a natural progression considering the work and sweat it took to get them where they are.  They are protective and absorbed in their craft.  John the Baptist thought that it was all about him until his cousin showed up and asked for purifying water to be poured over him.  Jesus thought that the sun rose and set on him, being a Savior and all, until God fills him up with a mission far beyond his wildest imagination.  God thinks that it’s all about Him!  Well, perhaps He’s right.

We all have a role to play in our journeys through life.  That role may change, be reshaped and nuanced over time but, nevertheless, as the song sings, “the show must go on.”

Each of us discovers within ourselves a passion that carries us throughout life.  A passion that only we, along with the grace of God, can keep alive.

It is our hope that, indeed, there is a Camelot to be discovered each day in our dedication and loyalty and commitment to each other.  That, indeed, there are witches who are dead to themselves and who try to influence and persuade us to sell out and to lose our hope.  That, indeed, the “Impossible Dream” is neither impossible or distant.  The dream lies within each of us, each day; each moment of each day.

Mike’s life reflects hope.  A hope that was captured in song and dance, even though that was not his primary occupation.  But, it was his passion.  He assembled 80+ year olds to remember the musical standards, the fun, laughter and the hope that music instills within us all.  He brought a community together many times in his years here to celebrate a hope that knows no age or time.

That is the hope of our faith.  It is a faith that what we do does make a difference, each in our own way.  It is the hope that our time during this journey is meaningful; no matter what shape our minds or bodies may be in.  It is the hope that the smile we put on this morning may change the frown in that person’s face, or that person’s face, or that person’s face.

There is a Camelot, the Wicked Witch is truly dead and the Dream is not as Impossible as we thought it was.  Mike told us that.  Mike showed us that.

“My thoughts go back to a heavenly dance, A moment of bliss we spent, Our hearts were filled with a song or romance As into the night we went And sang to our hearts’ content.  The song is ended But the melody lingers on, You and the song are gone But the melody lingers on. 

The night was splendid And the melody seemed to say ‘Summer will pass away Take your happiness while you may.’ The moon descended And I found with the break of dawn You and the song had gone; But the melody lingers on.”

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Lent & Earworm

Posted on March 19, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

ImageI just learned a new word for an old experience.  It’s been happening to me since who knows when and I didn’t know that it had a name.

Earworm.  98% of us experience earworm.  Women and men experience the phenomenon equally often, but earworms tend to last longer for women and irritate them more.  Yes, I thought I was unique and the only one who experiences this.  Yes, I thought that no one else could identify with repetitious melodies running through the brain.  Yes, I thought I was alone when, in fact, I am together with so many people.

“An earworm is a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person’s mind after it is no longer playing.  Phrases used to describe an earworm include musical imagery repetition, involuntary musical imagery, and stuck song syndrome,” according to the Internets official explanier of all things explainable.

If it’s a song that you like, well, keep it humming in your brain.  However, if it’s a song that just gets stuck between your awareness and your being unaware – then just let the music stop.

The miracle of the mind and the mindlessness of the mind.

Spiritually, what if we put repeating thoughts into your brains and then let the repetition take on a life of its own?  What happens then?  Someone once said that if you hear something repeated long enough then it will become true.  The political pundits have learned that lesson well.

“Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen,” Obamacare will kill old people…” just keep saying it and it will become true.

What have we put in our heads that repeats itself endlessly, or worse yet, what have others put into your heads that remain for a lifetime.  If a parent says, “don’t even try that,” that child has a life-long parrot attached to his/her shoulder.

And like anything that begins small, it can only grow and grow.  What begins with “God thinks I’m a sinner,” moves into “I am a sinner,” and then segues into “I must not be a good person because I am a sinner,” and then matures into “God made junk when He made me.”

Our mind, in its repetition, can not only be repeated but slowly can change life’s lyrics to whatever we wish them to be.

Lent can be a time kill that earworm – at least with repeats that are not healthy or promoting an authentic Christian spirituality.

The mind’s repeating of “I don’t like you” can be replaced with, “I don’t know you yet and wonder why you’re not like me?”  “I am a sinner” is replaced with “God’s mercy is greater than my sin, and besides, my sin wasn’t that great in the first place.”  “My life is meaningless” is replaced with “My life has/had meaning and purpose in each decade and perhaps for different reasons in each.”

For older adults:  “The world is coming to end,” is replaced with “I am coming to end and the world will go on, remarkably and surprisingly, without me.”  Go figure.

Lent is all about repeating what is life-giving and enriching for yourselves and for those around you.  Repeat all you want but may your earworm’s repetitions of music and thoughts be filled with hope, forgiveness and peace.

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April In Wisconsin

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

God of Spring,
We know that you’re out there, somewhere;
we just can’t seem to find you. You don’t
seem to live in Wisconsin.

Come, fill us with your light and warmth.
You tempted us sometimes with double
the normal temperature. Please, don’t
tease us.  We know that You are our light
and our warmth. In You we reside and
rely.  Just share some of that great warmth
with us Wisconsin folks, please?
I find that people are nicer and more
welcoming when pleasant weather abounds.
It sounds sad to say it that way but,
I guess that it’s true. I admit it even
about myself.

Lord, I want my attitude, my disposition,
my words and deeds to be reflective
of Your unconditional love for us.
And not be weather dependent, whatever
the weather may be.

Your warmth can embrace our dank,
March and April nights. Your kindness
can fill our cloudy March and April skies.
Make us more warming in these seemingly
unending winters. Make us more welcoming
during the days when it’s warm one moment
and windy the next.

Make us more loving, Lord. After all, you’ve told us that we’re your barometer in this world.  We control the temperature when gossip begins, when tempers flair and when anger or frustration becomes an easy solution.  We are your barometer in this broken, fragmented, cool and cloudy world of ours.

Be our warmth. Be our sun. Be our moderate weather. With Your help, may it is always 68 degrees, partly sunny with a slight chance of rain in our minds and hearts; but only in the morning; and then clear skies throughout the afternoon and evening hours.

Perhaps Wisconsin can be Camelot after all!
Thank You God.

Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

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“Bro”Mance

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.
Image

“If we see in on TV then it must be okay.”

There still ought to be a squiggle little line under that word meaning that it’s misspelled but it now means that two men can enjoy a dinner together without buying furniture afterwards.

“Bromance.”  Apparently it was created by an editor to describe skaters relationships to each other. Creating a new word, as corny as it sounds, also has a societal impact because words have meaning and words can take power away from something and place it in a proper context.

How many men over the years have hesitated a supper invitation because of what it might look like to those around them or those they would tell?  It was simply too risky to be placed in a situation that society deemed degenerate; the least of wholesome and probably everybody’s uncle.

The Christian church’s long standing abomination is slowly eroding with societal insights.  (Blame the “secularists,” I suppose.)  Misunderstood and badly applied has been many teachings, sermons and easy dismissal of an always present group of people.  That group?  We still can hardly say the word so another was created to soften the blow, “gay.”  (Cue Fred Astaire?)  As shallow as the new word was, the more shallow were the continuing arguments against a group that just didn’t seem to disappear (or die).

The present or the rewinding conjures up pairings that can now be identified as true friendships between men whose sexuality is never considered or questioned.  If two men experience a strong bond then why does it mean something sexual except to an audience whose minds seems to be somewhere else?

The present includes television programs that I enjoy, “Suits,” “Graceland,” “Scrubs,” “Chicago Fire,” “White Collar,” “Strike Back,” “House” and the other doctor; all macho shows that feature strong bonds between, dare we say it, two men.  Locally it’s been Green Bay Packer’s Aaron Rodgers and Milwaukee Brewer’s Ryan Braun.  The bible has David and Jonathan, David and Uriah, Jesus and John.  Going out in groups of four or more was considered proper etiquette in the past for men (women somehow get away with two) but slowly and surely two men can enjoy a glass of wine without the whispering behind them.

I laugh to myself now.  Leave it to the straight guys to pave the way for homosexuals.  Once the straight guys finally got it then the homos can finally find respectability – leave behind a “ghetto” mentality and risky sexual behaviors, and find a growing sliver of societal acceptance. 

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An Open Letter to my Nephew in Basic Training

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

ImageHi Ethan,

These weeks must not be easy for you.  It is intended to be difficult and perhaps even rough because of the job that lies before you.  You are in the military which carries an organized discipline and regimen to ensure your unison within an organization that prides itself on one mind and one heart. 

It’s ironic (note the correct use of the word) that our society prides itself on individualism in every walk of life but in the military; individualism is not only discouraged it is dismantled.  But it is only intended to be that way for a while.  This is the “formative” time for you.  The military wants the “you” to become “us.”  That part is easy for you because of your age. 

You wish to belong and to be a part of something greater and clearer than you know yourself to be.  But it is still only one stage in life’s many stages.   The military’s glamor is the lure that drew you in.  The necessary work that the military demands occurs through obedience, discipline and self-denial.  (All virtues we are taught to develop on our own and often question throughout life.)

If it helps you, then see life in stages for indeed life is stages.  This is but only one stage on which you perform.  There are many others that will unfold for you as time moves on.

You grew up in a wonderful home with two caring parents.  What a great stage to begin life’s work.  You are now in a stage of preparation for a future you’re not sure of but in which you trust those who will lead you.  Trust them.  Trust them but only for a while.  Strengthen the trust within yourself that your parents gave you.  Trust those with whom you place your trust.  Make sure that they match the trust that you’ve entrusted within yourself. 

What I’m saying is that self-trust is the only worthy trust because then whatever happens, the responsibility falls upon one person and one person only – it’s not the military, it’s not my parents, it’s not this or that – it is me. 

The peace that you feel throughout your life using trust in this way will see you successfully through all of life’s stages.  And I hope and pray that you have many, many life stages to pass through in this wonderful journey we call life.

I trust you because you’ve trusted yourself,
Joe

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“I Can Smell It!”

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.
Image

the underrated sense

It’s the sense that’s secondary to what we think are the dominant senses of seeing and hearing but its prevalence is outstanding.  We easily say to each other, “I hear what you’re saying,” or “I see the picture of your new grandchild,” but when would we ever have reason to say, “I can smell that on you.”

High school retreats inevitably ask the question, “What sense would you keep if you had to lose some.”

I can still smell my father’s cheap cigar, both in memory or when I pass someone smoking one.  It’s a rich remembrance of our family fireplace and his steady place to enjoy one after supper or after returning home from work.  Place your head on a pillow case that’s been dried by the sun and you’ll know what I mean.  A friend of mine owned the complete Aramis cologne line.  He dutifully applied it each day not knowing that its remnants remained on his clothes and that a daily application was no longer necessary.  I knew that he’d arrived before he opened the door.

We like to boast to ourselves that we’re pretty intelligent and critically thinking people.  “I see through you,” we may think to ourselves about a suspiciously made comment.  “I’ve been hearing some bad things about you,” says a parent who talked to the wrong parent about you.  The obvious senses kick in each day.  The smelling sense is the one that makes sense (no pun intended) to me because it’s deeper.  It invites us to explore not just life’s first layer but its second and third as well.  Movies, of course, rely on the obvious senses of sight and sound but when I saw “An American Quilt” I was blown away when Ann Bancroft slowly walks around her seated husband and smells adultery.  Can you smell adultery?  Perfume is a cheap way out but to rely on this unsung sense is to get to the bottom of a problem. “Something rotten in Denmark” ring a bell?

Tell me that smelling bacon in a restaurant doesn’t make you want to buy the place or the brewing coffee that you can already taste but are still waiting for or the smell we feel in the air the first days of fall.

Wisconsin’s weather has a unique scent to each season.  The fall air has this melancholy, fresh scent that tells me that one thing is ending and the other dreadful thing is about to begin, yet again.  Summer’s scent simply has smells that are warmingly relaxing.  I can smell the Florida ocean the minute I get off the plane.  Florida has a full, rich scent that envelops you.

You can live your whole faith in sights and sounds.  It can uplift you, change you and comfort you through all times of life.  I loved the church’s sights and sounds since I was young.  As I get older I’m started to smell around this faith stuff.   With all my questioning and unraveling and gathering I still grab hold of this sacred church.

I’ve been a smoker most of my life so you would think that my sense of smell is pretty well shot.  Well, you’re wrong.  I’m surprised at how much I’m able to smell, ponder and reflect upon.  At my age, I’ve pretty well got the church’s sights and sounds down pat.  It’s now the smells that I want to explore, enjoy and find even more enriching.

Oh, I almost forgot, don’t forget the smell of a new car. There’s nothing like it.

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My Guardian Angel

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.
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“Ever this day be at my side to love and guard me…”

You’re on my shoulder, my mother told me but I never believed her.  How could you rest on my shoulder, you might fall!

I never thought of you being anywhere except everywhere.  Why else would angels have wings if not to carry them where ever the need calls.

A hurried winged job to the soul because things don’t seem right between yesterday and today.  “Solve it, dear angel,” we softly think without using the words.

No, no, it’s not the soul today it’s the mind that has filled itself with repetitive thoughts.  Thoughts that go no where but continue to invade my mind, “help me, dear angel, to bring perspective to my thoughts and mind.”

Oh wait!  It’s now in my conversation, I’m on the verge of saying something that I know that I’ll regret later but I can’t seem to stop myself…”stop me, dear angel, before I embarrass myself and the one whom I wanted to embarrass.

Wow.  Are they floating now as I speak?  Are they in the chapel proper or just within our minds?  Do they hover, float or land where they are needed?

We probably hadn’t thought of the angels details but they must be considered.  Are they always without and within or only when we need them?  Did God created them or are they of our needed creation?  And, do we really need them?

Oh wait!  I feel one landing on my shoulder as I speak but I don’t really need a guardian angel right now or do I?  Ah, yes,  my guardian angel just told me that it is time for me to stop talking and begin Mass.

books by Fr. Joe Jagodensky, SDS, available in paperback or Kindle at Amazon:
“Soulful Musings”
“Living Life’s Mysteries”
“Spiritual Wonderings and Wanderings”
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John 3:16

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

ImageYou once encountered them at airports but I think they gave up on us weary travelers.  They are no longer strangers but can be your neighbor or even a member of your family.  I’d call them the “John 3:16” crowd.  Perhaps “3:16” is tight enough for our culture’s shortening of names. 

One translation reads, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  

There you have it.  All the books in the bible reduced to one simple sentence (and the Catholic bible has even more books than the protestants).  “Do this and this will happen,” is what they are effectively saying.  They should do an advertisement for a cleaning product and enjoy the same success, “it’s clean, easy and there’s no mess.”

 But what happens when you mention the most dreadful word to these absolutists and fundamentalists neighbors and friends of yours?  The word is “sometimes.”  Their already glossed over eyes become even creamier and you may even see smoke emit from their ears upon hearing the most ghastly and scary word that they’ve ever heard; sometimes.

Where is “sometimes” mentioned in the bible?  Where is “sometimes” felt in my life?  Well, sometimes it may be this way and other times it may be that way.  That makes the word “sometimes” synonymous with compassion and love.  Love and compassion are never absolutes, they are fluid and some days and sometimes it is freely given and others times it takes a lot of effort to extend them.

That’s what makes Jesus so paradoxical.  In one biblical passage he makes excellent wine for his mom and then in other says that his mom is everybody except who’s not in this room.  He talks of a kingdom of God being here and then later discourses about bringing havoc to our little homes and apartments.

The Catholic Church provides a questionnaire to those wishing to be married and one question is “if your future spouse is unfaithful to you, it would end the marriage.”  All the future couples say, “yes” as though that’s the correct response.  The Church says, “no, wrong answer and no parting gifts.”

We make easy what is not easy but fluid.  We can make simple what can take years and experience to achieve.  We can reduce when the reduction simply misses the mark.  “Sometimes” is sometimes and other times is, well, other times.  You can introduce sin here as a reason but I prefer the unpredictably yet predictable human life.     

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