Soulful Muse

She’s my second cousin, Grief. I see her periodically. I don’t go out of my way to visit her. She comes on her own to be with me for a while. I treat her gently in the hope that she’s satisfied enough to return home and not visit again for a long, long time.

I have another cousin, Hope, but she seems to live so far away. We try sometimes to meet half way but it just doesn’t seem to work out. Something always comes up and the meeting is postponed to another unknown day. It’s too bad that she doesn’t live closer. She’s probably my favorite relative.

My brothers are Pete and Repeat. They are always around me. They’re twins and their routine is pretty much what you would expect, the same old, same old. It’s no wonder that their best friend is Boredom.

My neighbor is a hoot, she’s Nagging. She always seems to find something to complain about. Weather is too hot; no, today it’s too cold. “This person is this way and I wish she were different,” she tells me. Nagging never seems content. I’m glad there’s a fence between us so at least I don’t have her everyday.

Supper is not always enjoyable for me. Envy, Cynicism and Hubris tend to show up. But I like the idea that they are where I can keep an eye on them, as the psalm says, “you set a table before me in the sight of my foes.” It’s good to know that their right across from me.

My uncle is crazy. His name is, well, Crazy. He’s great at parties, gets everybody laughing but I don’t think I’d like to live with him. It’s fun to be with him for a while but happily he returns to where ever it is he lives.

Jealousy lives upstairs from me. I had to rent it out to make ends meet but I wish I could find someone else to live up there. In the meantime, I have to cope with Jealousy’s perpetual noise. It’s constant. Always having to make grand announcements and always having to say it twice when I heard him the first time. Nighttime is the only time I find that it’s quiet upstairs. He must work second shift.

My youngest sister is Joy. I’ve tried to describe her to people but I can’t seem to find the words. I tell them that they would have to meet her themselves, then they would know what she’s like. Unending energy and a personality that is so warm and inviting. I thought it’s too bad that we’re related, I think she’d make a wonderful wife.

My cat is named Gratitude. What better name for a pet whose love is unconditional and who year daily attention to survive? I cannot leave Gratitude alone for too long before she makes those cat sounds that rip your heart a part. To ignore her would be her death.

Well those are some of the people in my life. When you think about it, they may not be that different from people you’re related to, as well.

I guess we all have relatives we are proud of and some we would just as soon not invite over. The mix of them all in my life is, I guess, what makes my life. For better or worse, what can I say?  It’s family.

I hate when someone calls to ask me a favor and begins with the question, “What are doing tomorrow night?” I have no idea what is involved but I’m expected to give an instant answer. Am I to be an accomplice to murder or moving a couch, I wonder.  I say, “Yes,” and then I hear, “Oh good, you can help me clean the bathroom.” Now I’m stuck. Instead of being asked, “Would you like to come to supper tomorrow night?” Then I know what’s expected and can either lie or accept.

God, of course, is the one asking the question and we are expected to reply, “Yes,” with no knowledge of what is about to happen. “Are you willing to live life?” God might ask us. What is our response? It is like the Jesus parable where the landowner asks the same question and first man says, “Yes,” but then never shows up and the second man says, “No,” but changes his mind and goes to work in the field.

How hard is it to “yes” to the unknown? We all know the answer to that question. Not knowing what’s behind life’s curtain is what our “yes” mandates. (Is that what “blind faith” means?)

Our “yes” is based on a faith foundation that includes God’s mercy, compassion and continuing presence. We may “blindly” say “yes” but our trusting eyes can see the glories of God and we are able to give an unconditional “yes” to life.

What does this life hold for us? Well, keep saying “yes” and then see what happens.

I love satellite radio. Since sliced bread, I can’t think of anything comparable. Commercial free, varied and so many offerings. I renew it every three years. My renewal came up so I called to renew for another three years and the operator said, “for an additional $60.00 you can have it forever?” I was stumped. Do I choose “forever” or the “three years.” (The decisions we must make in life.) I paused and said, “Is satellite going out of business soon?” The operator laughed and assured me that no, it’s here to stay. I’m thinking what does “forever” mean in business anyway. Will my hardware store be here forever and my pharmacy be beside me for all time?

I bought the “forever” and will never make another payment for the rest of my life. Pretty cool, I think.

I have a wedding ceremony soon and thought I’d talk about “forever.” I could talk forever but thought it best to contain it to a few minutes. What does “forever” mean in marriage these days anyway? In our U.S. culture, I think I’d make a Vegas bet. A $20,000.00 wedding ceremony and the bets are on five married years, tops. We’re too influenced by others to decide otherwise. It’s too convenient to get out of a marriage these days. (I love the ads for “Christian divorce attorneys” who swear that there’s a calm, civilized way of divorcing. I think that contradicts what divorce is, it should be divisive and hurtful. Otherwise, why do it? Also, what’s so “calm and civilized” about Christianity?)

The Catholic Church ends many prayers with “forever and ever.” Overkill? I agree. “Forever” isn’t enough. The Church needs to add another “ever” after it? (Will this marriage ever end?!)

Spiritually, “forever” means right now, this day. What are you doing now and what can you do? What are you thinking about and hoping for right now? Our “nows” make “forever” happen.

I’m enjoying satellite radio…. now.

Lot’s wife has no name (I guess you could call her “Salty”) and Joseph says and has no recorded statements in the Bible. The next cocktail party you attend, you can amaze your friends with these tiny bits of trivia.

God speaks to Joseph through dreams. Joseph was aware of them, interpreted and acted upon them. Lucky for the Holy Family. He probably learned more in his silence than in telling everyone what to think or what was good or bad in the world.  Joseph’s silence opened him up to hear the voice of God, in his case, found in dreams.

A fellow employee told me that when she arrives home, the television goes on and stays on. Imagine all those TV ads floating around somewhere in her head. (No wonder I always thought she was hyper at work.) She had no silence. There wasn’t room in her head for anything other than toilet cleaners, divorce attorneys or cheap auto insurance.

Winter has its drawbacks but one benefit I find is that the doors and windows are closed and there is a newly found silence that fills the house. A quiet that can either be experienced as boredom or blessed.

Our culture prides itself on noise and lights. You can’t get away from either. The toll it must take on our psyche and soul must be astounding. I was about to say why not “take some time out for silence” but that sounds too cheesy. You don’t take “time” out or you’d just sit there and wonder when this scheduled time of this silence will end. A space needs to be created within you that allows silence to fill you up in order to shut you down and open up something greater than you.

Joseph’s silence was blessed and graced. It provided insight that no one else knew from first marrying the pregnant Mary to enabling his family to escape death. Benefits from winter’s silence.

If I hear once more what a “normal” family is, I think I’ll….well, who knows.
The June Cleavers and Donna Reeds make for good television but are lousy at real life stuff. The buzz word opposite normal was “dysfunctional” as though that described only your family. All other families were “functional.” How unlucky for you.
Thinking about real life families, consider the biblical characters during the Christmas season.

A crazy cousin who dresses weird and eats the same way.
A pregnant unwed young girl who has no viable skills outside the home but looks good in blue.
A silent-type husband-to-be who wants to get rid of the pregnant-blue young girl and move on.
An old married lady who discovers she’s with child and, if that’s not enough, the kid keeps “leaping” in her womb; presumably with “joy.”
Angles coming and going and making grand announcements that no one understands but always prefaces them with “Do not be afraid,” as though that helps with this flying thing in front of your face.
An mute uncle who has lots to say but is unable to say them.
A government official that wants you dead before you’ve even born.
An old lady who prays all day and promises she’ll die once you’re born.

Your 12 year old refuses to leave church because he needs to “about my Father’s business.”

Your 30 year old son doesn’t listen to you and serves the best wine last setting back the family’s finances.

Now picture these people around a Christmas dinner table, carrying on, sharing opinions, thoughts and words (except mute uncle.)

That’s the wonder of the Christmas season and beyond. The awe of the season is what each person contributes to the story. To leave out any of these characters is to miss an important element of the dramatic story of God breaking into history. All accomplished through these super-not-normal people.  Happy Dysfunction; no I mean, Merry Christmas.

Medicine has all kinds of maladies concerning the heart. Heart attack? Call 911. Enlarged heart? Drugs for the rest of your life.
Those medical alerts are conversely spiritual gifts. A heart attack in spirituality is called passion and a deep love that is so enveloping, it jolts our pumping organ. An enlarged heart? What better definition for spirituality than an “enlarged heart.” To be afflicted with an enlarged heart means that you have opened yourself up to something or someone greater than yourself and by doing so, the graces that flow to you are huge. An enlarged heart so much better than our petty little ones that so easily get caught up in jealousy, competition, paranoia and selfishness. An enlarged heart has room for so much more and so many more.

We look at others to see how we can improve our lives. We model and we look for models. In medicine it is called “contagious.” Scary word with even scarier consequences. Spiritually, “contagion,” of God’s heart is a wonderful and inviting event. It becomes infectious. (Another bad medical word but a cherished spiritual one.)

Let us infect each other with enlarged hearts that break down divisions that are so common these days. Find a common ground with someone who disagrees with you on most issues and build from there.

Strengthen your heart with an attack of love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness. What a better beating sensation can there be?