Weddings & Music

Music. The notes and melodies that influences or confirms how our culture lives in a paticular time. Whether it’s Frank Sinatra or The Beatles, music so very often speaks of love as “all or nothing.” “My life will end if you leave me.” “Without you, I am nothing.” (So much for personal development.)

In 1965, Glen Campbell sang…(facing the women in the bridal party)
“She looks in the mirror and stares at the wrinkles, That weren’t there yesterday, And thinks of the young man that she almost married, What would he think if he saw her this way? She picks up her apron in little girl-fashion, As something comes into her mind, Slowly starts dancing remembering her girlhood, And all of the boys she had waiting in line Oh, such are the dreams of the everyday housewife, You see everywhere any time of the day, An everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me.”

Ohhhh, to be a married man during those glorious years. Wait! Genesis says that the two shall be one. A mutual union that is blessed, affirmed and unbreakable by God. As Christ is united to the Church, so man and woman are united.

Now, let’s go back to 1963 when Jack Jones made a major hit out of…
(facing the men in the bridal party, I asked one of the men if he heard of Jack Jones and he said, “No!” I told him to Google him after the reception.)
“Hey, little girl, Comb your hair, fix your make-up, Soon he will open the door, Don’t think because, There’s a ring on your finger, You needn’t try any more. For wives should always be lovers, too..Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you. I’m warning you, Day after day, There are girls at the office, And men will always be men, Don’t send him off, With your hair still in curlers, You may not see him again. Hey, little girl, Better wear something pretty, Something you’d wear to go to the city, And dim all the lights, Pour the wine, start the music, Time to get ready for love.”

St. Paul says, “honor each other in every respect.”

Marriage is sacred union. It is not a battle and doesn’t care itself for hair cullers or a pretty dress but that elusive but venerable word: love – mutual (one more time, mutual) in sharing…believing in each other…trusting each other and the worst of all, those careful risks taken each day to know each other a little bit better. “Those careful risks…” They are found not only in this sacrament but in all seven. It’s during my priesthood (believe me), in our baptism and confirmation with our sometimes battles with God, in the confessional (the last place any of us wish to be but need to be), in the Eucharist when we say our “Yes” not to our own, selfish whims but to the glorious whims of our Creator. And the Anointing of the Sick, destroying the bridge between earth and heaven.

Let’s turn now to that great philosopher and theologian, Stephen Sondheim (actually a Broadway composer) and his musical messages, this April 27. At this time. In this holy place. A date and time only your future husband with faithfully forget – each year. With family and friends as witnesses, together with our combined prayers and support for them for the rest of their lives, please listen to these lasting, enduring musical lyrics for their future life together.

“Somebody, hold me too close, Somebody, hurt me too deep,  Somebody, sit in my chair And ruin my sleep, And make me aware, Of being alive, Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much, Somebody, know me too well,  Somebody, pull me up short, And put me through hell, And give me support, For being alive, Make me alive.

Make me confused, Mock me with praise, Let me be used, Vary my days. But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love, Somebody, force me to care, Somebody, make me come through, I’ll always be there, As frightened as you, To help us survive, Being alive, Being alive, Being alive!


“Marry me a little, Love me just enough, Cry, but not too often,
Play, but not too rough Keep a tender distance, So we’ll both be free
That’s the way it ought to be, I’m ready!

Marry me a little, Do it with a will, Make a few demands, I’m able to fulfill
Want me more than others, Not exclusively, That’s the way it ought to be
I’m ready! I’m ready now!

You can be my best friend, I can be your right arm
We’ll go through a fight or two—
No harm, no harm, We’ll look not too deep, We’ll go not too far
We won’t have to give up a thing, We’ll stay who we are

Marry me a little, Love me just enough
Warm and sweet and easy, Just the simple stuff
Keep a tender distance, So we’ll both be free
That’s the way it ought to be
I’m ready!

Marry me a little, Body, heart, and soul
Passionate as hell, But always in control
Want me first and foremost, Keep me company
That’s the way it ought to be
I’m ready! I’m ready now!

Oh, how gently we’ll talk, Oh, how softly we’ll tread
All the stings, The ugly things, We’ll keep unsaid
We’ll build a cocoon, Of love and respect
You promise whatever you like
I’ll never collect

Okay, then
I’m ready
I’m ready now
I’m ready!”


About Rev. Joe Jagodensky, SDS.

A Roman Catholic priest since 1980 and a member of the Society of the Divine Savior (Salvatorians). Six books on the Catholic church and U.S. culture are available on
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